This post goes out as a wise bit of advice to everyone who came for a Belize vacation, fell in love with Ambergris Caye and started thinking about how they could move here.
Ambergris is a colorful, funky island with friendly people. It is no surprise that people would instantly fall in love and want to relocate here. I did after one 3 week vacation no less.
But it is not all fun in the sun and boat rides.
Even Paradise Has Its Demons
Just like any small town, this island can be very “Peyton Place.” There are people out there (just like everywhere) who are drama magnets and like to spread false gossip. Unfortunately, that sometimes means that people who are trying to mind their own business and playing “by the rules” get caught in the crossfire. Having lived here 10.5 years at the time I am writing this post I can say I have witnessed a lot of that kind of craziness over the years. Thankfully, for the most part, I have managed to be a spectator and not a participant.
Of course, no one is immune and anyone who knows me well, knows I have had enough unwanted drama thrown at me the first half of 2016 to last a few lifetimes.
None of it by choice. I do believe some people choose to attract it although the drama queens would be the first ones to disagree.
Thankfully I survived and I think it has made me a better and more resilient person in the end. I walk away knowing I am secure in who I am and I stand in my truth. I will never claim to be perfect but I do try to be conscious of my thoughts and actions and how and what I say and do affects other people. I make an effort to not go around purposely doing or saying things that would deliberately hurt other people.
A Good Tip For Being Nice
I have a good test that I practice, though admittedly I am still in the learning process and occasionally slip up. Before you are about to say or do something questionable, ask yourself “How would I feel if someone said or did that to me?” If the answer is not good then ask yourself why are you doing or saying it to someone else?
Stop, take a deep breath and do your best to think of a better action or something nicer to say instead. If you can find no positive action or words to speak remind yourself with a smile to shut the hell up. Absolutely no good comes of spreading negativity and bad will towards others.
What To Do When Someone Else Is Spewing
It is pretty much a guarantee in life you will end up in conversations where someone is trashing someone else. When you live in a small sandbox it is even more likely. If I had $1 for every time I heard someone carrying on about someone else, (and of course a few of them would be mine) I could easily replace my $700 128 GB Nexus 6p phone that was stolen last night. 🙂
Any way you slice it, it is never a joyous conversation to listen to spew. Sometimes you might quietly tune out and sometimes you might take to heart what the person is saying. Before you believe everything you hear, it is important to stop to consider the big picture and whether or not if what is being said is accurate or false.
When you get caught listening to someone saying something negative about someone else use your judgment depending on what is being said. In many cases, you will find it is wise to take it with a grain of salt or in some cases a pound. In reality, it is likely that the person smack-talking is not happy with their own situation, decisions they made and as a result an outcome that was not what they wanted. Instead of admitting that to themselves and learning from the experience, they often opt to drag someone else through the mud to make themselves feel better. People are only human and sometimes it takes a lot of wrong directions to be able to recover life’s setbacks by taking a right turn.
How to Deal With Drama
My best advice for anyone dealing with unwanted drama is to read the well following well-known poem, written in 1952. For me, this sums it up perfectly on the best way to avoid drama and stand tall against anyone who might be creating negativity in your world. Max’s words below speak volumes – life is too short not to live in positivity as best you can. By acting and speaking badly of others the person you are hurting the most, in the end, is yourself.
The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Strive to be happy.
Something To Be Happy About
Thank you to my family and many friends for knowing who I really am and for the mutual respect. I would have tagged all of you when I posted this on Facebook but there are so many I did not want to accidentally forget anyone. 🙂 That makes me feel very fortunate.