I decided today was a good day to do an exercise from No one cares what you had for lunch – 100 Ideas for your Blog by Margaret Mason.
I opened the book randomly and got # 32 break it off…
He mentions that he was on his high school track team – a dozen times. She won’t shut up about her dad. He keeps a photo of his ex in his wallet. She’s well a little bit married.
What are your relationship deal breakers? Some folks are annoyed if a date shows up ten minutes late. Others look for something weightier, like a felony record. Have you ever rejected someone over something that seems insignificant to your friends? Or do you have selective blindness for red flags?
Here are some of my deal breakers in different areas…
Deal breakers with my self – I have always felt like a bit of a square peg that someone was trying to jam into a round hole. My own deal breaker with myself was to stay true on my own path regardless of what I felt I should or should not be doing as dictated by the ‘norms of society’ I am going to reach the top of the mountain in my own time in my own way. I did not feel like I had to go the traditional route to do so (nothing against that path is what someone needs to do)
Deal breakers in my relationship – For those of you who know us and have been following my blog you will have a big laugh at this one.
One of the deal breakers on my pre Paul list was I did not want to be with a total partier. That may sound a bit ironic because we party a lot here in San Pedro but with further explanation it will make more sense. I have done the alcoholic ex boyfriend thing and I did not want to go there again. So while partying and having fun is ok – there are limits when it gets to a point that it gets in the way of getting things done, getting ahead in life and enjoying a satisfying relationship.
Non smoker was also on my list but after thinking things through, I realized I was willing to negotiate on this one. It is still on my list and Paul knows it (I make sure to give him an occasional reminder without nagging). He has quit for a year in the past, said he will quit again and I can accept that. I just hope it is relatively sooner than later.
I will add one more to the list honesty and communication. I paired these two together as I think they go hand in hand. Since moving to San Pedro and ending up in a small one bedroom apartment, we have sure had our share of communication issues. We both realize this is an area we need to work on and have been better at talking things out honestly, before one of us explodes and without upsetting or offending each other.
Deal breakers with friends – acceptance – lets face it in living on a relatively small island with many different personalities we really have learned to take people at face value. I do my best to take people as they are (as long as they respect and treat us well). I understand that not everyone is going to like the same people for what ever reason and that is ok.
In closing I will say as I got older I definitly learned to spot red flags faster and got better at not settling for less than I deserve in relationships and in life.
Stacy’s Fresh Foods in the stores now – you can find them at Nasser, San Pedro Tennis Club, Richie’s, Island Internet. Look for an expanded menu within the month featuring such items as made frozen pizzas, frozen pot pies, and rotisserie chickens. Stacy’s fresh foods will also be serving up fresh salads (pasta, potato, green) as well as the line of high end sandwiches – the ones that are currently in the stores are good, healthy, basic sandwiches all under $6.00 – what a deal.